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A Bit About Me .........
Not the full story but I do want you to know where I am coming from and how my life has changed, because that is how I know I can help you. There's no getting away from the fact that all in all I have had a pretty amazing life. On occasions when I share a personal anecdote with friends they often say something like, "Hey, you should write book!". But don't worry, you are not about get chapter and verse, let's just say that I have rarely been bored. I have however, been worried, stressed, anxious and depressed.
A really major part of my life has be involved with horses and I always felt that I was my best self when working with my horses and they have taught me some invaluable life lessons and ultimately they have led me here, because my coaching career began as a professional equestrian sports coach.
Initially I was more interested in training the horses than the people, but I knew from my own experience that being a halfway decent horseman (or woman) involved a lot of personal development. As a natural horsemanship trainer, often people would come to me with "horse problems" which inevitably would turn out to be the horse having "human problems". The transformation always started with the human learning to view the world from the horses perspective and then becoming more self aware. Then adjustments would be made from both sides, using communication and psychology to develop a partnership. Teaching a human how to have a conversation with a horse was a life changing experience, for horse, student and coach.
It was a natural progression from this to become involved in equine assisted learning and in 2014 I trained as a facilitator with TheHorseCourse, a registered charity based in Dorset. I led a team and set up a centre in Gloucestershire and another in Wiltshire, delivering the flagship course The ReStart to people when talk-based therapies and services didn't work.
In spite of everything I was doing to help other people, my own mental health continued to be a concern. Not all the time, but more and more of the time. As much as I tried to get on with life, over time stress and anxiety leads to physical problems; IBS, alopecia, migraines. Which leads to increased stress and anxiety. Various therapies improved things but only in the short term. I had developed various coping mechanisms; kept very busy, always some project on the go keeping me distracted and almost forcing myself to keep going. And I hid it pretty well. At least, until I couldn't and then I suffered a really bad patch, an unable to cope at all patch. Then, medication seemed to be the only answer.
So, what changed?
Everything changed and it started with one conversation about the work of Sydney Banks and his discovery of The Three Principles in the field of psychology.
A conversation that pointed me to something that until then had been completely invisible to me. A conversation that pointed me to a universal truth. That our mental wellbeing is innate. It's our default as human beings and it can't be lost, broken or damaged. Like the sun, it is ALWAYS there.
The implications of this understanding are far-reaching. Once you learn that it is built in, you don't need to go searching for it in other places. The source of well being is not where you thought it was; you don't need to get everything right to feel confident, or have more friends to feel self worth, or look a certain way, or all the other things that you think you need to be ok.
Like the sun, it is ALWAYS there, even when it's covered up. But if you don't know that, then it is normal to assume that when you don't feel those deeper feelings of well being, or the wise clarity of wellbeing, or the resilience of wellbeing, that it just isn't there. I thought I didn't have it, I thought I was a stressed, worried, anxious and depressed person.
Now I know there is a different way to be. I am a human being, so it HAS to be there, it is innate, It just gets covered up and having a sense of this makes ALL the difference. I have more context and perspective when it is covered up, which enables me to get curious and learn, to redirect rather than distract myself from uncomfortable feelings that may lead to addictive behaviours.
Even when I don't feel my wellbeing, I'm spending less time trying to control and manage things in order to HAVE wellbeing, knowing its ALWAYS there gives me a sense peace and confidence in my ability to handle life and its challenges.
I'm absolutely confident that YOU have everything you need already inside,
with my help and encouragement, you can create the life that you have
been dreaming of.